Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Michael Chad Hoeppner, author of Don't Say Um, joins us to share speaking tips for parents and teens, focusing on effective communication techniques and how delivery can enhance dialogue.



Full Show Notes

Crafting the right message for teens is only half the battle when it comes to effective communication. Striking a balance between content and delivery can significantly impact how teens absorb what we’re trying to say. As parents, we often stress over the precise words to use, focused on the content, and inadvertently overlook the power of speech delivery. How we speak, not just what we say, can be critical in ensuring our message resonates and leaves a lasting imprint on our teenagers.

For many parents, navigating the conversational minefields of adolescence can be daunting. The fear of being tuned out or misinterpreted adds to the pressure of an already rigorous parenting task. While teenagers are known to push boundaries, leaving us to harp on the things they shouldn’t be doing, there’s a compelling case for focusing less on prohibitions and more on fostering positive dialogue. In today’s fast-paced world, ripe with distractions, honing the art of effective speech can be a game-changer in our interactions.

To help us deepen our understanding of this topic, we turn to Michael Chad Hoeppner, author of the new book Don’t Say Um. Michael is an expert in speech coaching, working with high-profile individuals from presidential candidates to CEOs. He aims to transform how we view and execute communication, moving us away from focusing on filler words and towards what he calls "linguistic precision." Throughout his work, he advocates for positive communication strategies that can be transformative in both personal and professional realms, and he’s here to share some of these insights with us.

Although refraining from using filler words like "um" might seem trivial, Michael shows us how avoiding them can enhance clarity and precision. Instead of harping on the use of such words, the book encourages us to pivot to linguistic accuracy, which means encouraging effective and thoughtful word choices. This approach can empower parents to communicate more efficiently with teenagers, focusing on the richness of content rather than its distractions.

Michael emphasizes how vital this strategy is not only in improving parent-teen dialogue but also as a lesson in better communicative habits for teens. As he describes, creating a more positive speech environment can challenge both parents and teens to engage more actively and meaningfully in conversations.

Michael shares a variety of exercises designed to sharpen articulation and delivery, including unexpected but effective techniques such as the "cork exercise." By utilizing methods like these, both parents and teens can learn to articulate better, making each conversation more impactful. Michael and I also delve into how these rituals improve not just speaking habits, but can also inspire personal growth and confidence.

He insists that parents—by demonstrating their own willingness to improve communication skills—serve as powerful role models for their teenagers. This leads to an empowering cycle where teens are encouraged to improve their expressiveness and feel more confident in their communication.

An essential element of effective communication is confidence, but as Michael notes, projecting confidence doesn't always require feeling confident. By addressing the distinction between communication content and delivery, parents and teens can build a foundation of confidence that empowers them in various social situations. Michael stresses the importance of focusing on what you can control—like breathing, posture, and other techniques, which can lend anyone more control over how confident they appear.

Communicating with teens isn’t just about delivering information; it’s about creating memorable, impactful interactions. Michael helps illustrate the importance of confronting nervousness in ways that don’t shy away from, but rather embrace the body's natural reactions to stress and excitement. This emphasis not only builds stronger communicators but also fosters important emotional intelligence.

Michael shares a wealth of insights on:

If you’d like to delve deeper into perfecting communication with your teen, this episode is a must-listen. Check out the free chapter on dontsayum.com and don't forget to subscribe to Talking to Teens for more enlightening discussions!