Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Paul Tough, NYT bestselling author, shares what he learned in putting together his most recent book The Years That Matter Most. College may have a special place in the American Dream, but Paul enlightens us into what is really happening behind the scenes--it may have you rethinking decisions about higher education.



Full show notes

College holds a special place in the American Dream. It’s almost every parent’s hope for their kid to receive a four-year education from a United States university and make a name for themself. A college diploma is more than a piece of paper; it’s a marker for status, success, and smarts. It can be a promise of steady income, a supportive social network, and opportunities to continue moving upward. College is also a social rite of passage alongside a mind-broadening four-year journey. But the truth is, that piece of paper is becoming more and more inaccessible every year.

Getting into college seems to be an existentially taxing endeavor in and of itself. Sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds stress over the SAT and ACT as if the scores signify their worth as a person or determine the entirety of their future. When they’re that young, it can be easy to believe a single test will make or break their destiny and get wrapped up in test-related anxieties. With all the negative side effects these exams have on teenagers, people are beginning to wonder should students take standardized tests?

Parents too can have a difficult time helping their teens find the right college fit. It’s becoming normal for parents to go gray trying to find ways to afford higher education and getting their kids into a “good” college by stressing themselves over their teen’s academic performance. Even financial aid seems to be an elusive privilege to the families who need it most, and student loans loom darkly in the future. With the stress of taking standardized tests, finances, and social pressures from all sides, one question is on everyone’s mind: Is college worth it? And should students take standardized tests?

For the answer to these questions and a closer look at the college admissions process, I spoke with this week’s podcast guest, Paul Tough. In his most recent book, The Years that Matter Most: How College Makes or Break Us, Paul takes an unflinching stance on the reality of higher education in America to show readers the truth about colleges and universities. From SAT scores to post-graduation salaries, Paul’s extensive research begs (and answers) the question should students take standardized tests?

In an ideal world, merit would be the ultimate deciding factor when it comes to who colleges and universities choose to admit. But with an increasingly expanding pool of candidates and a finite amount of resources, it’s far more complicated than you’d think. It’s a mix of grades, standardized test scores, extracurricular involvement, socioeconomic standing, and more. It varies from institution to institution, so there’s no one blanket statement that could properly encapsulate just how varied the standards are. So the answer to the questions should students take standardized tests is a bit complicated.

Written over the course of six years, Paul’s book is packed with studies, research, and interviews with people all across the spectrum of higher education. He recounts the stories of low-income students at leading universities like Princeton and Yale while offering insights from leading SAT tutors, recruiting agents from top banks and law firms, and more. All his findings point to one conclusion—one that might be disheartening to many: When it comes to college, money matters. So should students take standardized tests even though wealth may be a bigger factor in determining what college they get into?

Struggling colleges and top institutions alike are constantly looking for ways to fund their expensive programs, meaning they look for students from high-income families who’re likely to be solid donors down the road. Furthermore, some institutions may not even prefer a student who is high-performing to high-paying. But why? Wealth is paramount to a plethora of educational institutions.

For instance, a university may very well prefer to admit a high-income student who is an average performing (or even poorly performing) student rather than a high-performing student from a low-income standing. Why? It’s a better investment to admit the average student who they know can afford full tuition rather than the exceptional student who will need help paying for the full tuition. Furthermore, wealthy parents beget wealthy students who therefore will be more likely to donate back to the university in large amounts.

So should students take standardized tests? The main critique of standardized testing is that it actually doesn’t measure any level of intelligence or skill. It does measure how well one takes a particular kind of test, whether it be the SAT or the ACT. Students who come from wealthier families will be able to afford private tutors, while students who don’t have the same means won’t be able to afford standardized test practice.

Furthermore, institutions will be concerned about their image as a brand. When asked should students take standardized tests, many colleges say that they care how publications such as the U.S. News and World will rank them in terms of average standardized test scores of the accepted student body. Again, standardized tests don’t measure true level of intelligence, but they are a factor that is measured heavily in the admissions process.

A student’s socioeconomic background even continues to influence their chances of success even after graduation. Many employers who look to hire from even the most iconic institutions, such as Harvard or Stanford, will prefer to hire employees who are just like them in a social sense. They don’t care as much about grades or academic performance. Employers look for people with similar hobbies and experiences—people they can “shoot the shit” with. It creates a circle of affluence in higher education, and, in Paul’s words, lacrosse bros really do run the world.

With so much inequality that keeps teens from affluent upbringings on top, should students take standardized tests? The tides are turning. Institutions such as Yale and Trinity College have come under fire and been accused as being hypocritical in that they tout themselves as being inclusive while containing the wealthiest student bodies. Measures have been taken over the years to have a more progressive standard of admissions, but as it stands, most institutions' answer to “should students take standardized tests” is yes because they are concerned about their bottom line.

As there are so many hoops to jump through when it comes to applying for college, the question isn’t just “should students take standardized tests?” It’s also, “Is college worth it?” There is no one answer that applies to all teens. As every teen is different, every teen will want something different out of life. It’s a perfectly legitimate possibility that the traditional college path might not be appropriate for your teen. But, if your teen is set on pursuing the traditional university path, you should plan for the college preparatory road ahead together.

While the revelation in Paul’s books can be discouraging, we also talk about possibilities for teenagers from low-income households to enter the system. It’s not an impossibility for underprivileged teens to attend the top tier colleges and universities. Paul’s book also goes into what people active in higher education are doing now to make college more accessible to a wider range of students. Along with discussing the question “should students take standardized tests”, we cover topics like:

For parents and teenagers entering the college admissions process, this podcast episode is priceless. Paul Tough shines a light on the underbelly of higher education, giving all listeners some much-needed perspective on American education. If you want to know the answer to the question “should students take standardized tests”, listen in!

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