Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Ron Lieber, author of The Price You Pay For College and NYT Your Money columnist, clues us in on what marketing tricks your teen’s favorite colleges might be using and how to get the best deal.



Full show notes

With prices skyrocketing and competition for admission growing more intense every year, applying to college can be a major source of stress for both parents and teens! It’s enormously difficult to decide which school offers the right dorms, classes, and clubs. On top of all that, you and your student have to figure out how you’re going to foot the bill.

Although families have access to resources like the FAFSA and other financial aid, it can be incredibly difficult to figure out how it all works. Every school offers something different, and half the time it seems like they tack on costs out of nowhere! It can feel like you’re being hoodwinked when you're just trying to give your teen a brighter future.

To get to the bottom of all the college cost craziness, we’re talking to Ron Lieber, author of The Price You Pay For College: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make. Ron is a business expert, and writes the wildly popular “Your Money” column in New York Times. His expertise about money and parenting have made a twice best-selling author!

Today, he and I are discussing some questionable methods colleges use to entice students into attending. We’re also breaking down the questions teens should be asking themselves when shopping for schools, and a few key things they should be wary about when embarking on their university journey.

College is expensive….like, really expensive. Luckily, there are few ways parents can pay, though they’re not always easy to navigate. Some students get scholarships based on merit, because they have exhibited academic skill or another impressive quality. While this may seem like a life saver, most colleges have some tricks up their sleeve when it comes to scholarships.

Ron breaks down the deceptive nature of many of these merit based aid programs. While they started as a way for schools to bring smarter students to campus at a lower cost, they’ve lost their original, intended purpose, says Ron. It’s become more and more common for schools to offer them to the majority of students, often even hiking up the sticker price of tuition to make it seem as though they’re handing families a discount.

In fact, there’s a billion dollar industry behind these discounts, with colleges finding the exact amount of financial aid to offer students to ensure that they attend the institution–but not a penny more. Ron and I talk about how colleges sometimes even measure how often applicants visit their websites or how quickly teens open their emails, to see how badly students want to attend. If teens seem eager to go to a particular place, schools can use this information to extract more money out of these hopeful students.

In the episode, Ron gets into why all these tricky marketing schemes came into being, and ways you can get around them. When it comes to picking a school, there’s more than just the price to think about, however. In addition to talking about financial aid, Ron shares the questions he thinks every student should be asking themselves before they choose a college.

Selecting a scholarly institution is no easy task. Ron suggests that teens ask themselves what they really want out of college. He sorts students into three different categories depending on what kind of experience they prioritize. Some want to get practical knowledge, acquiring a degree or license with the main purpose of gainful employment. Others want to find their pack, the people who truly get them. Some go away to school to have a unique learning experience and expand their mind.

What kids really need to do is understand what it is exactly they’re going to college for. If they have a notion locked down, they’ll know what questions to ask their tour guides. Ron puts this idea in terms of examining a college’s dorm design, something students often don’t consider. If your kid wants to meet as many people as possible, dorms with more closed off quarters are likely not the right choice. If they want to engage in a lot of quiet studying, it might be in their best interest to look into a school where dorms are more spread out.

For students who are looking to learn as much as possible, Ron suggests seeking out a college with small class sizes. Research shows that these institutions have a lot of benefits, with students getting more individual attention and forming strong mentorships with their professors. Ron explains that this model works especially well for women and people of color.

In the episode, Ron lays out some metrics teens can use to pit different colleges against each other when deciding where to apply to and attend. He shares how you and your teen can decide if it’s worth it to fork over extra cash for a university with a higher rate of alumni success. The college search can also be full of hidden red flags, however. In addition to things students should look for in a school, there are also things they should look out for.

There are a few things Ron believes families should be wary of when trying to settle on a university. Ron explains how a lot of colleges have a large number of adjunct professors, which are grad students or aspiring professors who don’t work at the university full time. He warns that adjunct professors may have less time for students and less dedication to the school, as their ties to the university are tenuous.

Ron also emphasises the need to make sure schools champion diversity. By this he means not just diversity in race, religion, and sexual orientation, but also diversity of thought. When touring a school, he suggests asking the tour guide to recall a time they had heated discussion with someone, either in class or out of class. If the tour guide can’t recall a story, that’s a sign that the school doesn't encourage vigorous thought, and instead discourages dissent.

Is your teen interested in joining a school’s honors program? Ron encourages them to be cautious. Only about 20 % of people who start college in an honors program actually remain in it until they graduate. He also warns that most honors programs show an incredible lack of diversity. While honors programs started with good intentions, they’ve become another way school’s market themselves to empty student’s pockets.

There are lots of things to consider when picking a school, but Ron is here to break down and simplify the process.

It was so enjoyable to sit down with Ron this week and shed some light on the college selection process. In addition to the topics above, we touch on:

Although you and your teen might be stressed about selecting a school, there are things you can do to make the whole process easier. By understanding why your student is going to college, you'll know what to look for and how much you're willing to spend on it. See you next week!

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