Ep 6: Don’t Raise a Wimpy Teen
Nick Boothman, New York Times bestselling author of “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less” reveals how to instill perseverance in a teenager. He has raised five highly successful children and he worked hard to teach his kids to be resourceful and to never give up.
Full Show Notes
“Grit” and “self-sufficiency” are buzz words that many parenting experts seem to extol. But how do you actually instill perseverance in a teenager? Nick Boothman knows from the experience. Author of one of the best-selling communication books of all time, How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less, Nick has raised five highly successful children. He has worked hard to teach his kids to be resourceful and to never give up.
He told me exactly how during our interview.
Another skill that Nick thinks is critical to teach teenagers is how to be captivating in front of an audience. He gave me some tips on how to accomplish this from his new book, The Irresistible Power of StorySpeak. It involves training teens to use colorful language and to tell brief, engaging anecdotes with a point.
1. When your teen is having a hard time on a trip
“I’ll bring you home right now. You’ll be fine. I’ll put you on a plane and bring you home now but it’s over. Because you’re not going back. So it’s up to you. If you give up you’ll be safe–I’ll catch you. Or you can go on.”
2. How to light a fire under your teen:
3. When you teen is complaining about an activity that is hard:
Step-by-step guides for applying the ideas from this interview
1. Push Your Teen to Handle their Own Problems:
The theme of Nick’s interview ended up being how to give teenagers space to fail and gone to force them to push through difficult setbacks. He told me how his daughter once called from Australia in tears asking for help and he had to tell her that she was on her own. “Desperation is the mightiest driver of all,” Nick told me. You may never send your teenager around the world by herself, but you can certainly require more grit from your teen. Think back over the last few weeks and write down a few things that your teenager gave up on or asked you to help finish. What would have happened if you would have said “no”? Next to each situation, write a response that you can use next time to politely tell your teen this is their responsibility to fix. Try affirming your teen with a few words about how you know they can handle it on their own. Or appeal to their desire for maturity by pointing out that they are getting bigger and this situation is now their responsibility. Think: tough love.
About Nicholas Boothman
Nicholas Boothman has been called “one of the leading authorities in face-to-face communication in the world” by The New York Times. He has taught his revolutionary techniques of “Risk, and Rapport, by Design” to thousands of corporations, colleges and universities around the world including the Harvard and London Business schools. His first two books, How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less and How to Connect in Business in 90 Seconds or Less have been translated into more than 30 languages.
A former fashion and advertising photographer who dealt with hundreds of new faces a week for clients like AT&T, Revlon and Coca-Cola, he is now recognized as a world-renowned expert in turning first impressions into profitable relationships. The New York Times calls him “the new Dale Carnegie,” the Economist Magazine calls him “truly inspirational,” and Good Morning America says, “His book is my bible!”
Click here to visit Nick’s website.