Ep 35: Parenting Like a Badass
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Biz Ellis, the host of the “One Bad Mother”, reveals how she found her inner badass as a parent and learned how to be cool again through her kids’ eyes. She also points out a number of ways in which you are probably already doing a great job and should give yourself a pat on the back.
Full Show Notes
Teens are really good at letting parents know how completely and utterly uncool we are every chance they get.
It can be easy for parents to start feeling really beat down, exhausted, and lame.
Maybe it’s because all the “parent” characters we see on movies and TV are stereotyped as out of touch with their teenagers and clueless about popular culture and modern technology. Maybe it’s just because parents are met with exasperated eye rolls so often from their own teens.
Somehow, many parents have lost touch with their inner badass.
And I’ve found that teenagers respond much better to parents who see themselves as a badass.
This week’s podcast guest, Biz Ellis, went through her own “parent identity crisis” after she became a mother. She realized that she didn’t feel “cool” about being a mom. So she went on a bit of a journey of self-discovery and ended up finding the answer in a T-shirt.
It was a T-shirt her husband made for her and it said “One Bad Mother” on the front. Suddenly she felt cool again as a mom.
She had found her inner parenting badass.
In this episode, Biz tells her story and reveals insights she has learned through over 200 episodes of hosting one of the most popular parenting podcasts on the planet.
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Word-for-word examples of WHAT to say to your teen
1. When some other kids were picking on your teenager:
“Well, that’s really not a very good insult. How did it make you feel? Maybe he needs to work on his insults a bit more. What do you think? Should we come up with some things you could say back to him next time?”
Step-by-step guides for applying the ideas from this interview
1. Find Your “Badass” Parenting Mojo:
It was a simple t-shirt with yellow letters on the front that finally helped Biz Ellis feel badass as a parent again. She told me that she was feeling uncool and un-fun and really beat-down and was struggling to find her parenting mojo. Then her husband, a graphic designer, made her a t-shirt with the words “One Bad Mother” on the front and she suddenly felt cool again as a mom. This might sound strange coming from a researcher, but I believe coolness is important for parents. One of the most common things teens complain about is that their parents are “lame” and “embarrassing” and “don’t get it”. To thrive as a parent of a teenager, you need to be a little bit of a badass. You don’t need to be Brad Pitt, but you’ve got to be comfortable in your hipness. Take a moment to write a few words that make you feel like a badass as a parent. See if you can get it down to a single line or sentence that makes you feel cool. Now jump online and get it printed on a coffee mug or magnet or sticker so you can be inspired by it every day!
2. Make A “Did It” List to Remind Yourself About Everything You Do:
3. Find a Way to Remind Your Teen of Your Unconditional Love:
About Biz Ellis
Biz hosts the comedy podcast One Bad Mother with co-host Theresa Thorn. Biz, formerly a stand up comic, member of the nationally-acclaimed sketch comedy group MEAT and corporate event planner in NYC, is now a stay-at-home mom to her 3-year-old daughter. She lives in Pasadena, CA with her husband, daughter, and two cats. She enjoys displacing her parenting frustrations into failed crafting projects. Life is good.
Biz and Theresa are also the authors of a hilarious and insightful book, You’re Doing a Great Job!: 100 Ways You’re Winning at Parenting.