The Teenage Achievement Trap
Brandilyn Tebo, bestselling author of The Achievement Trap and a retreat leader and life coach, talks to Andy about how parents often instill harmful beliefs in their teens without even realizing it. Because we love them and want them to be happy, we tend to teach our teens about the importance of doing well in school and other activities. But, as Brandilyn points out, it’s important to also help teens develop a practice of unconditional self love. This episode is full of word-for-word scripts you can use to make it happen.
Full Show Notes
Let’s face it: we want our kids to be happy. And we know that, in order to be happy, they need financial freedom and they need to be doing work that challenges them and allows them to make a positive contribution to the world.
So we emphasize the importance of doing well in school and sports and other activities. We’re training our kids to succeed in life.
But, as bestselling author Brandilyn Tebo explains on this week’s podcast episode, this creates a serious problem: our teens get the message that they have to win in order to be worthy of our complete love. And, perhaps even worse, they start to feel like they need to win in order to be worthy of self love.
Brandilyn knows what she’s talking about. As she explains in her bestselling book, The Achievement Trap, she was once caught up in the trap herself. She was a fashion model, straight-A student, president of a club at her college, and a volunteer at the nearby animal shelter.
From the outside, she seemed to have the perfect life.
But after she developed an eating disorder that led to a breakdown, she started to question everything about the way she was living her life. When she finally found the answers, they didn’t come from where she expected.
Today, she leads retreats around the country and works with individuals and business as a life and branding coach.
On this episode Brandilyn reveals the solution for parents looking to help their teens steer clear of the achievement trap. She says it’s critical to teach teens how to start seeing failure and loss as opportunities to practice unconditional self love.
How, exactly, do you teach this skill to teens?
That’s the subject of this week’s episode.
The 21-minute public version is free to listen to, and the 36-minute extended version, packed with extra goodies, is reserved for site members. Log in or sign up to access everything our site has to offer!
1. Before or after your teen loses a soccer game
“Whether or not you win the soccer game means nothing about you. It means nothing about your loveability and nothing about your worth. And we’re unconditionally proud of you regardless. And let this be an opportunity for you to practice being unconditionally proud of yourself and to empower other people in being unconditionally proud of themselves and to unconditionally love themselves.”
6 Scripts HIDDEN…
About Brandilyn Tebo
An acclaimed transformational coach, healing retreat host, and inspirational speaker, Brandilyn Tebo is the author of The Achievement Trap: The Overachiever, People-Pleaser, and Perfectionist’s Guide to Freedom and True Success.
Once a type-A perfectionist who struggled with Anorexia, Brandilyn eventually found her way out of the achievement trap through a combination of inner work and deep meditation, coach trainings, and the study of eastern and western philosophies and mystical traditions. She went on to travel the world teaching empowerment workshops in high schools, prisons, Fortune 500 companies, and colleges.
Today, via her website, blog, and podcast, she coaches clients, readers, and listeners on how to remove internal barriers to following their hearts, changing the world, and being the fullest expression of themselves.